Brokers - how smart they are! And how they try to fool you!

Searching for a house and finalizing it is not the end of story, we had a real novel experience with our broker. When you think back at the conversations and analyse every statement he makes, you understand that there is a lot more 'business' involved in it, they are not from the whartons, harvards or the IIMs, but they sure know how to make money! ( that too totally non-taxable :(
We searched for quite a few houses before we met this guy who found the perfect house for us.
Starts the conversation after hearing our requirements by saying..

B : Which place are you from madam.. Native..
Me: Chennai

B: oh tamil a? naanum tamil nadu dhaan madam..(and starts speaking fluently in tamil, my friend who doesn’t make out a single line is standing next to me fed up!)

Now here, point to be noted is as soon as we hear someone speaking in our mother tongue, theres this feel good factor which automatically surfaces…and he says..

B: neengalum tamil a irukkarudhunaala, brokerage la oru 500 rs kammi pannikalaam madam…namma ooru kaarangalukku seyyama vera yaarukku
And you stand there, extremely happy, with a feeling that you have made the accomplishment of your life!
( Realizations will happen later… but at that time, he hits the chord with you…)

Now he sees that my friend there is bugged… he turns to her and says..
B: Madam, you are from which place.?
My friend: Kanpur …

B: Oh hindi.. I know hindi very well madam… meine north bahut travel kiya hai… aap chinta math keejiye..bahut acha ghar mil jaayega…main hoon na..
(me thinking: Aaaaah … statement a?? )

Phew! Now he's managed to get her confidence also…
So both of us are happy, he manages to show us a real good house, we loved it!

Lesson one: Once the broker manages to show you a house you like, start talking with the owner directly about all payment related matters…
They will promise you the moon and the stars to get their brokerage….
Our experience…(even when the owner was present in the vicinity...)
Me: We can give only half the advance amount initially , as it has to get processed in our offices…
B : That’s no problem at all madam…..
Me: We'll give a post dated cheque for the remaining amount…
Broker murmurs something in kannada to the owner… he too nods his head.. So we think that things are fine with him too…

On the day of payment….(broker hadnt arrived...)
When we hand over half the amount, owner asks for the remaining also..
We: The broker told us you are ok with a post dated cheque..!!!!
Owner: He told me that you people will give it when you shift...
We: Oh no.. We told him clearly and he said you were ok with it…
The owner being pretty well educated and nice agreed that we could give it a little late...

All of us together: Let that guy come.. We wont spare him today….
The hero arrives… all of us pounce on him…
B: madam, I only said that you can give him a cheque for the remaining advance..
We: What the hell !! We explained the whole damn situation of processing in office, delay etc….
B: No madam, probably u misunderstood… our owner is a very nice person…
Turns to the owner…
B:Sir, they have to get the thing processed, so they'll give it asap…

Me: We've all sorted it out, and since you caused the confusion, your brokerage will be a post dated cheque only, as we don’t have money now…
Keeps quiet… and says..
B: Ok madam.. Please give it in one week madam..

After a week….
We give him Rs 500 less than the actual amount…
B: What madam 500 less….
Me: Ennanga… namba oor kaarangalukku idhu kooda pannalena enna….
B: (grins) No madam.. We have to pay taxes.. But ok.. Thanks madam….
Me: Get us the receipt for this, we have to give it in office(for some other processing required at my friends office)
B: ok madam.. Tomorrow morning sure madam…

Morning we see a cover on our door.. Contained a receipt…
Receipt was a print out on an A4 sheet… received rs--- from --- towards brokerage… and his signature and name below it…

We got furious.. Gave him a call…
Me: Sir, what sort of a receipt is this? How will they accept it in office..no bill number, no letter head of your real estate, nothing….Even I can take a printout and put my signature and give….
B: What madam, this is what we generally give to others also madam.. In that paper, can u see my signature there? That’s what is important madam, I have signed there, that’s the proof madam..

I have mixed feelings… I am irritated, at the same time its comical….

Me: Sir, onga signature enna RBI governer signature a sir? Ellarukittayum oru copy avanga purse la irukkum and avanga verify pannuvaanga nu…. Even if he signs it has to be on a revenue stamp sir, engalukku onnume theriyaadhu nu nenaichingala..…Freeya vidunga… I cant take more….
And I hung up...

How hitting emotional aspect can make you succumb… i learnt lessons to look at things with a small percentage of suspicion…
Nice experience though…..
:)