Friday, July 13, 2007

Stranger

8 comments


Location: In the Lift area in my apartment
People: Me, along with two kids from my building who were just returning after playing in the evening, with cricket bats.

Me to Kid 1: So you were playing cricket?
Kid 1: Yeah. We played for two hours. I played cricket in school also today, in the sports hour. I have so many friends. During the holidays, we used to play the whole day behind building 2, but now, school has started.(with a sulk), so we play only in the evening.

Me:(smiling)
Me to Kid 1: Which school do you study in?
Kid 1: XYZ school, I go by school van at 8:00 a.m. Ok my floor has come. I have to go.

Kid 2:(still in the lift)
Me to Kid2 : So you are also in the same school?
Kid 2(with an expressionless face): My mother has asked me not to talk to strangers!

Me: ?!?@#@?#$# Wow!

(One smart kid ..) :)


--Ignore "Read more"---

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Sonia vs Gandhi

3 comments


Recently there is some hue and cry from some Congress worker that in the movie Sivaji, the villian had a Photo of Sonia Gandhi in his room/house. And how the movie can portay Sonia Gandhi as villian blah..blah.. blah...

In every single Indian movie, there is a photo of Mahatma Gandhi in every police station. And policemen are MOST of the time being shown as villians in most movies. So does that mean we are portaying Mahatma Gandhi as a villian??

Why does anyone not raise this issue?!?!?!?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Spalling Mistaks!!!

19 comments
Heyy people… Posting after a very long time… :) This time about one of my very favourite subjects… "Spalling Mistaks"!!


Unfortunately , I have a good eye for spotting spelling mistakes wherever I go… And decided to mention those which were very very obvious, and those which affected me SO much, that everytime I see some like this, I made a note of them in my mobile phone, so that it will prove to be good laughter material for posterity… :D

Here goes the list…

This was painted on the rear side of a lorry…
"Keep Distens"
Yeah yeah.. We'll keep distens…
Btw, hey lorry… is ur Spiid = Distens/Taim ????

hee hee..

In the advertisement of some Boarding/Lodging Place..
"Singal"
"Dabul"
"Tribul"
Arrrgghhh…. Instead u could have simply written 1, 2 and 3!!!!!!! :(
Why subject yourself as well as others to torture?!?!?!?!


In a pretty famous and slightly expensive eatery…

"Cheexe Pisa"
How about a slice of the Leaning Tower?!?!?!

"Franch Fries"
Do you fry it in Franch oil by any chance??

"Greap Joose"
Sounds so Yuck!!! Then comes the question of drinking it… Uggghhh!!


In a private bus….

"Ledis"

"Genz"
No comments…!!!!!


Other unpardoonable mistakes spotted, while walking on the road...

"Deseiner sudithar"
I really want to HANG this guy.. Pleaassse allow me…. Please……
Pleaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What are all the Lakme n Wills fashion week organizers doing?!?!? ;)

"bus dippot"
Wow!!!! But this is still better than the previous one… :p

In a mechanic shop..
"Pancher" / "Puncher"
Ohh...Can I hire goondas to punch/beat up somebody… ??

"We print Broshars"
Do you have a spell check software in your system before u print stuff ???


And the most often misspelt

"Restarent"
"Restorant"
"Restaurent"
"Restorent"

Ugghhh…. Wait a min !!!… whats the actual spelling..????!?!?!? **Confused!!***

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Theme park (mis)adventure!

38 comments
Dont try what you shoudnt be trying, is what I should have said to myself during my trip to a theme park in B'lore...
Me the great, forgetting how weak-hearted i actually am, went for my team outing to the theme park....


Wow, what a place, i said.. after looking at the various rides, not knowing that it was going to give me ultimate horror shocks and vayatha kalakkals! :D


Here goes my experience...

We went for the first ride, which was supposed to be 'even-the- smallest-of-baccha-will-enjoy-it' kinda ride... My team mates said that it will be nothing at all and will be loads of fun! Trusting is the last thing you should be doing in such instances.. :p


Me, though i was slightly scared, projected an expressionless face, trying big time to hide the fear which i felt.. Bu still, the great lady decides to do it!! "Thats the spirit", my teammates echoed...That moment was nice, believe me, probably that was the last moment which was nice, that whole day!!

So we all settled in our seats, they were locked.. Slowly the feeling, and hence the fear began to sink in.. I was dead scared.. It was going to start.. Oh My God!!! I shouted to the operator.. "Can I get down now??" The operator said that it was locked and that was it!!

Now I was scared to something beyond death!!!! He wouldnt even let me out till its over! What if i faint there? :( What if everything in my stomach comes out? Oh no!! :( :(
The ride starts... First few seconds it moves at ok speed... Its a ride wherein, everyone faces in front, and the whole row of seats move as if a circle is being drawn.. It slowly goes up, then increases the speed and goes round and round like CRAZY!!

I was screaming in fright at the top of my voice.. I tried to close my eyes.. I could actually feel that all the organs in my system were getting displaced from their original positions..I was sure that I was going to die, if I continued there..

At that moment of fear, I didnt even realize that I was the only one screaming.. In less than a minute, all of a sudden a magical thing happened.. The machine stopped!!!!!! I was almost dead.. and relieved as well... The operator came to me, and seeing my plight, asked me if i wanted to get down... Whew!!! Finally!! The 10-12 yr old kid sitting next to me gave a 'whats-wrong-with-her' kinda look... One brave kid I thought.. :p..

I thanked the operator profusely for saving my life, and got out of the death machine and hurried far away from that ride.. Phew!!!

You think I wud have got tricked to taking some other ride after this??
Muhahahaha... NO way! Not a chance! :D

So was a mute spectator/photograher during the other rides where people went up and down vertically at terrorizing speed, where people with high level guts were suspended in mid air upside down, totally at the mercy of the machine..!! etc...

After getting bored becoz of jus accompanying ppl, I decided to go atleast one more ride..the water splash ride.. Thought that this was comparitively better as the shock will last only for a few seconds..
When the boat was moving towards the top, during the final stage, everyone screamed and i joined too... After a few seconds, thinking that it was all over, i opened my eyes, and only then realized that the boat had just started its deadly journey down the hill..!!!!!!!!

Aaaauuuuwww!! I saw the free fall which we were taking.. My heart was in my stomach...My stomach was in my mouth and everything else jumbled up.. I thought that it was the end of it all.!!!.. I was going to either fall from the boat or get a heart attack..!! After a few seconds i realized that neither happened.. "I survived! I survived!! "- I screamed to the other people in the boat....

Went back home with a haunted look on my face!

Thats it folks.. no more experiences like this.. enough for the entire lifetime.. Phew! Tooo much! ...


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

**Switch** **Switch**

28 comments
About switching channels…. :D
Most of us would have mastered the art of switching channels…

That too with most of the programmes on tv which either totally amuse us like the stupid game shows or other mega soaps which simply fail to sustain interest in them for more than 5 minutes, switching channels has become one of the major timepass, sitting in front of the tv..!!


Jus like the 'sms thumb' or the more recently coined 'i-pod finger' there should also be some name coined for this art!!

My everyday Channel switching process …. Here goes...



-> Witness a scene in some soap where a woman keeps running inside a hospital desperately seeking help from someone to protect her from Goondas who are chasing her… She runs to every floor of the hospital and there is a goonda who is hiding in every floor, who are waiting for the camera to focus them, and then act as if they are attacking the girl… Strictly one at a time….
Ugghhh!!!

*** Switch***

-> Some god forsaken game show where they ask 'How many roles did Kamalhasan play in the movie 'Michael Madana Kama Raja' and the person saying that he doesn’t know and asking for a clue.. And the host counting 4 in her fingers as she repeats 'Michael Madana Kama Raja' and the guy, with a sense of achievement saying FOUR!!!!!
Aaarrrrggghhh ***Switch***

-> Switch to a movie channel to find something good… And feel that only a person who has short term memory for 1-2 days will watch the same movie again and again…
For the 100th time….
***Switch***

-> One news channel where they focus people, who shout -"Everythign is because of the police… They didn’t control the crowd… The govt has to change.. "
Huuhhhh *** Switch***

-> Another news where people scream - "The police did a great job Saar… it was the people's fault, solely.. They shudnt have rushed in like that.."
I know…. ***Switch***

-> Change for some interesting stuff of Discovery or History channel.. And you realize that you have seen that documentary SO MANY times that you can present the documentary even without the script … :p
****Switch***

-> NDTV news… hearing the same stuff for the 4th time in the 3rd news channel… :D but its ok… I can put up with this thing even for millions of years! :D
After 5 minutes...
***Switch***


-> Some movie in unidentified language
**Switch***


-> Uuggghhh disgusting snakes..
**Switch**

-> Detectives working on murder mystery.. 11:30pm show?!?!?! SCARY!! :(
**Switch**


-> New year light music programme shot 10-15 yrs back, re-telecast on DD..!!!! The people performing might have even quite their profession..! Who knows.. ;)
**Switch***


-> Some man claiming that he can heal and cure another guy's blindness, by prayer.. That too shouting at the top of his voice…
****Switch***


-> Mallika Sherawat….
***Switch!! ** ;)


-> Kolangal on suntv….
**Aagrrgghhh* switch before I see any 'god-sent-me-to-earth-to-do-amazing-sacrifices-in-every-episode' character!!!! ****

***Switch*** ***Switch** ****Switch***** ****Switch**** ***Switch*** ***Switch*** ***Switch*** **Switch******
PHEW!!!
Reached channel 1 again!!!!!!!!!!!
All in the span of less than 10minutes… :p
So if I tell u that I watch tv for atleast 2-3 hours a day, u can imagine what I would do without my remote!!!!
:D :D
Aaaahh… Its truly godsend!!!!


Thursday, December 15, 2005

On the road to irritation..

17 comments
Top 10 irritations when you are on the road..

1. You are in such a hurry to cross the road, when the vehicle approaching you seems to deliberately slow down.. And you feel like yelling out -"Why dont you go faster and just get
off my way!!!" but on the other hand, you wait and let him go and then cross the road..Huh!

2. You are walking by the side of the road on the pedestrian path.. and you hear big time honking.. you turn back to see whats happening, and you see bikers occupying major portion of the walking path, almost about to bump against you!!


3. If you happen to go somewhere near a flyover under construction..(well fyovers in our country are ALWAYS 'under construction'..thats a different thing..) then you get a feeling that you do a lot of hardwork while going to office, as you cross seven hills and seven seas.. (read: the mud, debris and all the dug up stuff...)

4. You are getting awfully late to office, and you intend to take a rick, instead of walking.. You stop a rick, tell the guy your destination.. As all of you know.. and for those who do not know.. B'lore auto drivers are great 'Thinkers'.. The guy takes one whole minute to think.. YOu are eagerly waiting for his response.. You are getting late.. And finally.. he says- "No Madam.." And I go "Ada cha.. idha munnadiye solla koodaadhu? Google earth software a mandai la load panni destination enga irukku nu narrow down pannina dhaan ivvalo neram aagum..!! HUH!"

5. And finally if you manage to get a rick.. after a few mts, the rick stops for a signal..for 180 whole seconds(3 minutes!!!!) And then finally when the green signal comes up, there will be a moronic guy with a real huge vehicle right in front.. blocking the way, and having all sorts of starting and moving problems!!! You hear unbearable honking from all directions.. and finally by God's grace, when he decides to move, Wah! The signal goes back to red again!!! WHEW!! TOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!

Well..I am too pissed off to complete the remaining reasons.. as I experienced ALL of the above 5 reasons today morning...Generally on a normal day its a permutation, combination of any 2 .. :( :(
Poor me!

<--Ignore read more-->

Monday, December 05, 2005

Good old Champak!

27 comments
I was waiting in the railway station, for my train... was gettign bored, so made a trip to the book store to pick up something...
Was deciding between Outlook and Business World, when i happened to see this book... A comic book by the name 'Champak' ... Dunno how many of you would have read this magazine...



Well,,, Champak used to be one of my favourite magazines when i was in my class 2 - 5... :D Every fortnight i would eagerly wait for my mom to bring my copy home... :)

I actually had such a huge collection of Champaks that mom made it into bound volumes for me combining 5 copies each... I went down the nostalgic lane.. Ok.. there ends the flashback...!

I decided to pick up a copy of champak and see as to how much the magazine has changed... :) Well... firstly.. wrt the price... It was Rs5/- the last time i read it.. and now it is priced at Rs12/-

Not bad actually... An increase of 7 bucks in 14 yrs... With great eagerness and a lot of enthu...I started reading the contents....

Nothing AT ALL had changed...

The jokes column with the same kind of humor faces drawn around the page...

"Find your way through the maze" puzzle...

"Join the dots" to find out the bird/animal

The center page board game, which i used to preserve by sticking it on a piece of cardboard...

The same "Cheeku Das" comedy strip of a clever rabbit...

The "Know your facts" column which contained all kinds of 'Tell me why' stuff...

All the stories with animals and kids.. with all kinds of morals... Everything was the same...

I was astonished as to how well i could remember the contents as if i had read it yesterday... The stories - EXTREMELY silly for grownups... ;)

A sample:

There was this story about a dad who gifted his son a robot dog...The robot was intelligence personified... One day when the boy was alone in the house, a thief, who called himself his dad's friend entered the house..He gave the boy chocolates which had sleeping pills...
The dog senses that the man has malicious intentions and immediately it goes to the boy's parents room.. it telephones the police and tells them everything thats happening... The police and the parents arrive and the dog plays the thief's activities which it recorded in its inbuilt cam.. and they arrest the thief..!!

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh i went.... and smiled to myself... Wondered how the hell i read such intolerable stuff !! But bet, must have been interesting then...when we were kids...
There was one more where theres a monkey which never shares the fruits of a tree with anyone and how the inmats of the forest teach a lesson to the monkey and it realizes that sharing spreads happiness.. :)

So many strories.. about animals, their forests.. how they lived in harmony... Some moral in every story..

Was a pleasure reading it after a long time, even though u cant expect any kind of logic.. Cumon.. kid magazines right?? ;)

Next came the stage of Gokulam, tinkle, Archies, Tintin.. etc... I still preserve those issues of Gokulam in which my articles were published.. :) Another trip down memory lane...

Even today, if i can get hold of a Tinkle Digest issue.. i wud not leave it till i am done with it... :D Comics are always fun... are they not? :)


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